"She was worth a stare. She was trouble."

The past couple of days Billie Holiday’s come on and I noticed. I haven’t listened to her since 2008. The first time he threw me around she was in the backround.

I was living in Eagle Rock for maybe 8 months or so, washing the dishes and he stumbled in, opening the frige to get a beer. I stared at him and asked him if he was drinking my beer.

“Shut the fuck up”, he said.

I blinked, my face stinging with hurt feelings.

The next thing I know he throws the beer bottle, 32 ounces of glass shattering against the cheap, yellow tile counters.

“Was that fucking necessary?”, I yelled, starting to shake.

He rushed at me so fast, before I could put my hands up he threw me into the fridge. He screamed “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”, his liquor breath spitting all over me.

He walked out casually like nothing happened.

I looked at my hands to make sure there was no glass in my palms. I was stunned and pissed so I ran into the bedroom where he was laying down, drinking. I punched him as hard as I could in the chest with my soggy hands. He grabbed my wrist, pinning me under him. He was panting like a rabid dog and I thought to myself, Oh shit, is he going to rape me or strangle me?

I managed to push him off with my feet and scrambled to grab my phone, running for the bathroom but he was right behind me. I slammed the door on his body but he was drunk and a monster, fighting to push himself in. Quickly I pulled the door back until his head was in view and I slammed the door so hard on his head, he stumbled into the hallway. He was black out drunk already, losing conciousness.

I waited a few seconds, my heart was racing so fast I couldn’t tell how much pain I was in, I thought I was gonna puke from the turn of events.

The hallway light showed me a black and blue goose egg on his bald head, a bloody nose, drool puddle on the carpet. He didn’t get up so I carefully slipped out of the bathroom and took his phone from his pocket. It was a Razr. I snapped it in half and threw it by his body. I returned to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

With my back to the door I sat on the floor, smoking and shaking. I shook and I shook.

8 Feb 2012

"She was worth a stare. She was trouble."

Notes