January 2011
20 posts
December 2010
30 posts
2 tags
I feel a bad mood rollin’ in with the fog. Hell hath no fury like a Siren scorned. A kid I used to fool around with, Fat Cat, was supposed to drop off some fast cash tonight and I haven’t heard a word. I hate waiting. Bastard. The roads are slick and black with oil. He should be so lucky to survive the weather conditions, because when I get my hands on his skinny little neck, there...
it’s 4 a.m. and i find myself staring up at the ceiling in the midst of bodies and summer warmth, sweating and breathing hard but i’m drunk, and it’s nothing sexual. i think of bleeding skylines, pregnant mountains, the heavy smell of jasmine in the backyard and i wonder how i got myself into this mess it was a year ago, and everything seemed fine, everything seemed smooth and...
nullandvoidd-deactivated2011022 asked: Hum. Well I appreciate it. There was no glamour (like your spelling) here and it makes me wonder if I remind you more of the drugs or the pretty little boys you dragged through the mud haha
“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk...”
– Neil McCauley, Heat
nullandvoidd-deactivated2011022 asked: I think I'm just going to like everything you post, yeah? Okay.
One night in Vegas. Gonzo style. 2004
Self portrait. 2003 Eighteen and heartless.
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WELCOME HOME BABY Too good at playing cool. Inside I’m passion volcanic, moody rivers of lava. Just love me already, goddamnit. Kiss me in public, you fool. Hold my hand and take me away to different countries when you go. Fuck me stupid, I’m yours. You kill the pain. I’d give up all of my secrets.. and the men that follow. Try to curb my crazy. Put the bottle down, for now,...
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Happy. Self. APRIL 2010
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UNTITLED lady, he says lady lady lady won’t you come out won’t you play? oh baby, i say baby baby baby can’t you be nice say please sugar, he says sugah sugah sugar why won’t you cry? just one tear oh baby, i say baby baby baby i have no tears no tears for you cherry pie, he says cherry cherry pie i’m gonna spit on yr slutty little face oh baby, i say baby baby...
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DEATH & COMPANY Opiates make me sad. They exaggerate my overwhelming feelings of despair. A good girlfriend of mine gave me a ‘scrip off a dead man’s coffee table. The death and pills are unrelated to each other. Fuck it. In Los Angeles, you don’t ask questions if the drugs are free. Just need something to dumb myself down. Just need to let the days come and go. I’ll...
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Self. APRIL 2010 * “We must act out passion before we can feel it.” - Sartre
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Fuck. Crying at 3 a.m., wringing my hands in the rain, strangling a cig with a shakey grip. Fuck. It’s my fault for curing a hangover with Oxycontin and listening to Brahms on repeat for hours. Fuck. I hate the holidays.
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Maui, HI APRIL 2010
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Maui, HI APRIL 2010
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Self portrait. DECEMBER 18, 2010
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UNTITLED when you give that eulogy of the sad girl how will you untie that stomach of knots how will you hold back those hot salty tears how will you speak of her lonely life how will you breathe in that room full of strangers did you know when she was small all of the things she loved a little voice and tippy toes but did you know about the monsters cold hard bones hearts of snakes they ate her...
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Self portrait. DEC. 18, 2010
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LOVE GAMES When the cat’s away, the mouse will play. A lover I had taken up in the early spring has returned to Los Angeles. His arrival was sudden; he literally jumped on a plane on Monday and insisted I see him Tuesday. After just sleeping with my other paramour on Monday, I panicked. Managed to put off seeing him until last night. And I slept with him. A moment of weakness? Or is it...
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FREE BIRD My lover left for Spain early Wednesday morning. Just gone. He wrote to tell me of his departure and when he will be back. Perhaps we will spend Christmas Eve together, as we spent the early hours of Thanksgiving chain smoking and having lazy sex. We ate bananas naked and he made awfully sweet coffee. I reluctantly drank it, as the male ego can be fragile. I am not getting my hopes up...
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INSIDE YR A BRICK WALL It has been months. My thoughts have been scattered and my social life has kept me busy. I am also sleeping with the stranger I had so warned myself of. He smells like cologne, leather and cigarettes. I am drawn to him like a magnet. I’ve never met anyone who can get my clothes off faster. * He says “I can’t figure it out. Why did you pick me?” and...
“Got you. You’re mine now. For the rest of the day, week, month, year, life. Have...”
– The Rules of Attraction (2002)